Am I An Artist?

April 3, 2025

For my first blog, on my first website, it feels appropriate to ask, am I actually an artist?

What does it mean to be an artist?

As you move through the world, you see a lot of art discussed. Mostly in school, but it pops up in other places too. Picasso, Dali, Davinci..all wonderful artists. Aside from being incredibly talented, you see a running theme with many famous artists. They all have a specific style or color palette or method to their madness that makes them great. In the one art history class I took in college, I learned that many people have debated as to what their paintings meant. What was the artist thinking when they painted this magnificent and historic piece? But, does anybody else think that maybe Dali just took too much LSD one day and managed to paint what he saw?

We grow up hearing certain things that stick with us. “How can you tell what makes a good artist…”, as asked by my 5th grade art teacher, “…because of consistency. You can see the consistency in their color palette and brush strokes and their technique” And literally as I’m typing this, that memory is flooding back for the first time in 20 years.

I’ve grown up thinking that in order to be a good artist, I need to go to school for it, choose a style or a color palette or have meaning behind my work. As I’ve moved through the world, I still find myself noticing when an artist has found their niche and stuck with it…and thinking to myself “wow, look at that consistency in their artwork, they’re obviously great” Then I look at the paint on my canvases and notice the extreme lack of consistency…

I’ve never studied art. Not past basic school requirements and random videos on YouTube. I’m not well educated in art styles or techniques. I couldn’t tell you the difference between contemporary, surrealism, and abstract without needing to Google it first.

I’ve never liked painting the same general style more than a few times, because once I’ve learned how to do it, I get bored and lose interest.

I’ve always been too literal to even consider incorporating meaning into my paintings. I do not have some deep seeded meaning in my paintings. When I use blue in my painting, it’s not because I’m feeling melancholy and want to portray that somehow…it’s because blue is pretty.

Sure, I paint with a lot of blues and purples…but also neons and dark colors and shimmery colors and anything else I can find. I do not have a consistent color pallet.

I’ve been experimenting with art since I was about 13 years old…over half of my life. I’ve lived by the “fuck around and find out” method. And I’ve always felt lesser for it, like I’m not a real artist because I don’t meet the requirements imposed upon me by who…? Society? The artistic community? My own brain?

I have ADHD, so you won’t see much consistency in my art because I get bored quickly. I paint to get out of my head, so you won’t see much meaning in my art. I use whatever colors speak to me at the time…or whatever colors I just need to use before they go bad. I’ve learned by doing on my own.